12,000,000 is a really big number. 8 digits strung together with a couple of commas thrown in.
I get 12. But 12, one million times? Honestly, it's too big to really understand. But this is the number that keeps being set forth as the number of orphans: babies, toddlers, kids, teens...that were left alone in this world because their parent(s) died of AIDS.
12,000,000.
How big is 12,000,000? Well it is about half of the population of Florida. Pictured like this, I can tell it's a really big number. But it still is just a vague idea.
I loved going to University of Michigan football games as a student. The stadium, proudly known as "the Big House", packs in over 100,000 faithful at home games each Fall. I would often be amazed as I looked out over the sea of people crammed into the stadium. 12,000,000. Let's see...that's 120 stadiums FULL of kids without parents.
I can start to see it. But it is still just too amazing. I guess I could keep playing the "break down the numbers" game in hopes of having the number 12,000,000 impact me. But, one of my own experiences is what most has brought this home for me. Just over 6 years ago, I had received some news that you hope you never get--especially at the age of 40. I got the call from my doctor informing me that I had triple coronary heart disease and needed surgery right away. Someday I'll get into those experiences, but for now I want to focus on one particular reflection from those confusing and scary days.
My wife, Jill, and I are blessed with 4 incredible children. Stephanie. Katie. Kimberly. Michael. As I went in and out the heart cath lab 9 times over the next 3 years, my biggest struggle was with anxiety and guilt over the fear of leaving my family alone without a husband and father. Would I be there to walk my daughters down the aisle? Would I be there to play ball with Michael? Would I see my grandkids? Would I enjoy a lifetime of love with Jill? What would happen to them if I died? At times the sadness and fear was overwhelming. I felt so much care and compassion for those kids and for Jill.
From this perspective, the real tragedy of 12,000,000 hits home for me. Through the lens of my own experience I can feel compassion for fatherless and motherless children. I can imagine the fear and bewilderment of ONE child. I can relate to what ONE dying parent was feeling. The heartbreak. The fear. The pain. Every time a child is orphaned, it is a tragedy.
12,000,000.
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